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Triple Action Humor
John Breneman’s New-Fangled Humor Magazine
* Home of the Triple Action Humor Prize!
Welcome to Triple Action Humor!
Home of my satirical Substack feed and lots of funny stuff I’ve written. We’ll soon be launching the prestigious Triple Action Humor Prize, our quarterly juried humor-writing contest (see details on prizes and how to enter below).
I’m your host John Breneman, a writer / humorist just trying to share a few laughs in a world gone haywire.
Thank you for stopping by … While you’re here, our human visitors are invited to:
1. Take our Triple Action Humor Quiz
2. Sign up for our monthly Triple Action Humor Bulletin (bottom)
3. A third thing to be named later
Humor me by taking our Comedy Quiz
In order to better serve you, the humor consumer, my trusted monkey intern Nefarious George has banged out this quick pop quiz as part of my ongoing work in the cutting-edge field of humor research. The data you provide will help me tap into the very marrow of the human funny bone. (Warning: Questions are “multiple choice,” so respondents will need a working knowledge of the “alphabet.”)
Triple Action Comedy Club
SNL: Please Don’t Destroy (with Sydney Sweeney)
From SNL last night, the triple gagsters from Please Don’t Destroy and host Sydney Sweeney mourn the outlandishly ridiculous death of a friend. These guys are almost always hilarious. (See more Please Don’t Destroy videos)
Charlie Chaplin: Silent film “Thriller”
The legendary Little Tramp really knew how to cut a rug. On this day in 1978, grave robbers – very silently – his coffin from his grave in Switzerland, prompting the cemetery’s night watchman to call the Keystone Kops.
Belushi: March comes in like a lion and …
Happy March 1 … Former SNL meteorologist John Belushi reminds us that in some countries, “March comes in like a wildebeest and goes out like … a tiny little ant.” A classic rant from a true comedy lion.
Dave Chappelle: Ja Rule’s take on 9/11
To celebrate Ja Rule’s birthday (see Revisionist History), here is a classic clip by young Dave Chappelle riffing on the media’s habit of tapping celebrities to weigh in on major news events.
Blogging WORST Practices
Inspired by one of my actual marketing blog posts, this video leverages that age-old advertising tactic, HUMOR(!), to promote my debut novel, “A Man of Remarkable Restraint.”
George Carlin: A few words about “words”
“They’re only words.” Beyond his infamous “7 words you can’t say on television,” George Carlin has plenty more to say about “bad words.”
“Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter.” – F.W. Nietzsche
“Ho (Expletive) Ho.” – S.Claus
Study: Alcohol Effective in Combating Sobriety
A new report in the prestigious Imaginary Journal of Medicine reveals that alcohol has been proven highly effective in comforting the pain and discomfort often associated with sobriety. READ MORE
Can’t figure out what to get for the birthday baby who has everything? Just imagine the joy on Baby’s tiny face when he lays his baby blues on … Baby’s First Pitbull.
What better fuzzy companion could there be — for the modern toddler on the go — than a vicious domesticated killing machine with a skull-crushing jaw and razor-sharp fangs?
With his hair-trigger temper, Baby’s First Pitbull enhances Baby’s street reputation as an infant not to messed with. Plus, Baby’s cuddly, bloodthirsty new pal will help keep him or her safe from external threats.*
* Chance of death by mauling just 14 percent.
This just in: Exclusive Triple Action News headlines
Cruel, Demented Lunatic Wins NH Presidential Primary
Fornica: Kardashians Launch Designer Sex Drug (not)
Sphinx News Exclusive: King Tut Reclaims Power in Egypt
‘Bypass Surgery for the Devil’: Rolling Stones announce Fossils Tour
God: Friend or Foe? (Imaginary Newsweek cover)
U.S. falls to 16th on list of countries Fox News watchers think Obama was born in
Triple Action News LIVE:
Global Economic Meltdown
Broadcasting from the near future, Triple Action News anchorman Reid Page delivers some geopolitical wordplay about how income inequality will affect the global economy.
Fake Advice Columns (Wait, Ask Who?)
Worst advice columnist ever: Dear Blabby
Ask Professor Gunn: Firearms advice columnist
Prof. Gunn Followup: Gun satire draws verbal fire
Curious about world affairs? Ask Prof. Nollege
Questions on Obamacare? Ask Prof. Pillsworth
Polar vortex questions? Prof. Doppler Has Answers
Fall foliage advice: Dr. Leif Mann
Professor O’Blarney: St. Patrick’s Day advice columnist
Knee-Slapping Fake Personal Ads
Divorced male, 14 kids, unemployed, bad back, on probation, seeking buxom hellcat to help polish my ankle bracelet and manage my scratch-ticket portfolio. Don’t judge me by my Charles Manson tattoo. Friends say I have a winning personality. Turn-ons: Schlitz Malt Liquor. Turn-offs: Sleeves.
Chain-smoking single mom with major heart problems seeks nicotine-loving 35yo male who looks at least 20 years older. Join me for very short walks on the beach as we find love while flicking cigarette butts into the sand. Turn-ons: Raspy voices. Turn-offs: Nagging doctors.
Happy New Year’s Resolutions
Wish you had a swell New Year’s resolution but can’t figure out what it should be? You are not alone. In fact, fictional surveys show 73 percent of Americans are pledging to quit doing something, start doing something or some unrealistic combination of both. READ MORE
Thanksgiving: As the blood gushed from my thumb …
As the blood gushed from my thumb on Thanksgiving morning, I realized that I truly had much to be thankful for. … The moral of this story: Blood is thicker than red zinfandel or cranberry sauce. READ MORE
Happy Earth Day to You
Happy birthday to Planet Earth. Yes, according to the earthling calendar, today is Earth Day – so allow me to dish up a heaping tectonic plate of metaphorical Earth Day cake. READ MORE
Holiday Humor
Timeless Christmas Goodies
Holiday Safety Tips, your Yuletide Horoscope, a Redneck Christmas Album (“O Little Town of Bethlehem, Kentucky”) and Myrrh (the silent killer). READ MORE
History’s heartthrobs talk Valentine’s Day
Hey all you Romeos and Juliets, Feb. 14 is a national day to feel the love. Because love is like oxygen. It can strike under the boardwalk, on Blueberry Hill or in an elevator; and it makes the world go round. It has even been suggested that love is all you need. READ MORE
Super Bowl Fever !!!
Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to your exclusive satirical pre-game coverage of the Bud Miller Ford Chevy Nissan Amazon Coke Pepsi Cheetos Doritos Carvana Viagra Triple Crypto TurboTax Super Bowl !!! READ MORE
WTF is on my YouTube Channel ??
A quick visit to my YouTube channel reveals several of my favorite alter egos, Triple Action News anchorman Reid Page and Mr. Billy Buck Teefus, THE American Redneck Savant (meet them in the two clips featured here). You’ll also find dope cuts from my imaginary hiphop artists, plus a mind-bending array of oddfellows and off-the-wall creations.
Subscribe today! or whenever, or not 🙂
In this 2010 flashback: Homespun pundit and American redneck savant Billy Buck Teefus is puzzled by what he hears about President Obama on Fox News. (Here’s a partial playlist of Teefus videos)
Reid Page is my fake news anchorman – a broadcast pioneer in the art of using overly exaggerated inflection and pauses to emphasize key words … and syllables.
I wrote and recorded “Scrub Your Hands n Cross Your Fingers” two months into the COVID-19 plague, before we knew WTF-19 we were dealing with.
Inspired by one of my actual marketing copywriter blog posts, this video leverages that age-old advertising tactic, HUMOR(!), to promote my debut novel, “A Man of Remarkable Restraint.”
This was soooo much fun! … doing a 26-minute live set as a featured artist at the monthly Beat Night held at Book & Bar in Portsmouth, NH. Organizer Mike Nelson encouraged me to promote “A Man of Remarkable Restraint,” my first novel.
Teefus was born at a family birthday party in 2008 where someone brought a gag redneck denture set. I bit into it and introduced myself to my family as “Mr. Billy Buck Teefus, American redneck savant.” I was almost as surprised as they were.
This fake pharmaceutical ad introduces Skelorex, a game-changing weight-loss spill that burns away flesh, muscle and internal organs. It is a signature product at my imaginary Big Pharma company, Triple Action Pharmaceutical.
Triple Action Studios
At this imagination factory, it all starts with the writing
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