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Triple Action Humor

John Breneman’s New-Fangled Humor Magazine

* Home of the Triple Action Humor Prize!

Triple Action Comedy Club

It’s Fatty Arbuckle Day …

Little-known fat: Today is Fatty Arbuckle day in Hungary, Botswana and Mozambique. Silent film legend Roscoe Conkling “Fatty” Arbuckle, born today in 1887, was a mentor to such lesser-known slapstick comics as Flabby Falstaff, Porky Pigstein and Morbidly Obese McGillicuddy.

Triple Action Comedy Club

This Day in (Revisionist) History – April 21

Tony Danza, 73: Tony-named actor who played “Tony” in one great show (“Taxi”) and a bunch of lame ones. (Video: a hilarious exchange between Tony and Andy Kaufman’s Latka)
Andie MacDowell, 66: actress, starred opposite Bill Murray in that comedy classic where a bunch of gophers try to pull off a bank robbery, “Groundhog Day Afternoon.”

Iggy Pop, 77: Rock Hall of Fame singer, punk music pioneer; real name: James Newell Osterberg; chose his iconic stage name after rejecting his other two possible choices: Biggy Pop and Iggy Smalls.

Queen Elizabeth II, (1926-2022): Born Princess Elizabeth, she achieved her career goal of “making queen” by age 25 when her father King George VI died from a coronary thrombosis in 1952. (Video: The Queen gets egged. Long live the Queen!)
Today’s History:

On this day in 753 B.C., Rome was founded after its sprawling site plan was approved by the Planning Board. Developers wanted to build Rome in just one day; however they could, and the project took many years to complete.

On this day in 1789, John Adams took the oath as the first vice president, swearing on a stack of Constitutions to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.” Nobody try to mess with the Constitution that day. 

On this day in 1962, the 605-foot Space Needle made its debut at the World’s Fair in Seattle, with a grand ceremony unveiling the Needle from a massive 1,200-foot-tall haystack. 

On this day in 1918, Baron Manfred von Richthofen, the German World War I flying ace known as the “Red Baron,” was killed in a dogfight with Snoopy.

On this day in 1980, Rosie Ruiz was crowned winner of the Boston Marathon, even though she faked her way onto the course about a mile from the Finish Line. 

Check out my Boston Marathon humor piece.

 

Welcome !!!
to Triple Action Humor

Home of daily Classic Comedy Clips, This Day in (Revisionist) History and much more … including the prestigious Triple Action Humor Prize, our quarterly juried humor-writing contest (see details on prizes and how to enter below). I’m your host John Breneman, a writer / humorist just trying to share a few laughs in a world gone haywire.

Thank you for stopping by … While you’re here, our human visitors are invited to:
1. Take our Triple Action Humor Quiz
2. Sign up for our monthly Triple Action Humor Bulletin (bottom)
3. A third thing to be named later

Laughing robot (credit: Neuroscience News)

Humor me by taking our Comedy Quiz

In order to better serve you, the humor consumer, my trusted monkey intern Nefarious George has banged out this quick pop quiz as part of my ongoing work in the cutting-edge field of humor research. The data you provide will help me tap into the very marrow of the human funny bone. (Warning: Questions are “multiple choice,” so respondents will need a working knowledge of the “alphabet.”)

monkey typing at a typewriter

Triple Action Comedy Club

Jesus Christ Superstar gets hell from Archie Bunker!

It’s Season 2, Episode 3: Archie Bunker’s in jail on trumped-up hate speech charges. He gets prickly when being proselytized by some hippie whose listening to “Jesus Christ Superstar” on a transistor radio. 

Archie: Turn that racket off, huh?”

Hippie: “You mean you actually don’t dig Jesus Christ Superstar?”

Archie: “Jesus Christ I dig, and I dug him a long time before you weirdos turned him into a Superstar!”

Charlie catches a Leprechaun on ‘Always Sunny’

St. Patrick’s Day is always fun Paddy’s Pub, worldwide headquarters from the horrifyingly hilarious sitcom, “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” Here, Charlie catches a leprechaun (Season 11, Episode 8).

Dueling Michael Caines … who does him better?

Happy 91st birthday to Sir Michael Caine, 91: actor, won Oscar starring opposite Miley Cyrus in the Woody Allen comedy “Hannah Montana and Her Sisters.” Dubbed a knight by Queen Elizabeth II in 2000, then served as the Dark Knight’s butler in three Batman films. (Video: I have always loved this scene from “The Trip” featuring Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon arguing over who does the better impression of Caine’s famous Cockney accent)

Carol Burnett channels Charo: “Cuchi cuchi!”

Carol Burnett does a wild impersonation of Charo, who turns 73* today. The exuberant Spanish entertainer “cuchi cuchi’d” her way onto American TV sets starting in the mid-1960s; becoming the only performer to appear on each of the following shows: Ed Sullivan, Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, Donny & Marie, Mike Douglas, Captain & Tennille, Laugh In, Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Hollywood Squares, The Jeffersons, Jay Leno, Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, The Surreal Life, Celebrity Wife Swap, Hell’s Kitchen, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Dancing with the Stars, Chappelle’s Show and, of course, Ironside.

“Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter.”   – F.W. Nietzsche

“Ho (Expletive) Ho.”   S.Claus

Study: Alcohol Effective in Combating Sobriety

A new report in the prestigious Imaginary Journal of Medicine reveals that alcohol has been proven highly effective in comforting the pain and discomfort often associated with sobriety.  READ MORE

Can’t figure out what to get for the birthday baby who has everything? Just imagine the joy on Baby’s tiny face when he lays his baby blues on … Baby’s First Pitbull.

What better fuzzy companion could there be — for the modern toddler on the go — than a vicious domesticated killing machine with a skull-crushing jaw and razor-sharp fangs?

With his hair-trigger temper, Baby’s First Pitbull enhances Baby’s street reputation as an infant not to messed with. Plus, Baby’s cuddly, bloodthirsty new pal will help keep him or her safe from external threats.*

* Chance of death by mauling just 14 percent.

Triple Action News LIVE:
Global Economic Meltdown

Broadcasting from the near future, Triple Action News anchorman Reid Page delivers some geopolitical wordplay about how income inequality will affect the global economy.

Knee-Slapping Fake Personal Ads

Divorced male, 14 kids, unemployed, bad back, on probation, seeking buxom hellcat to help polish my ankle bracelet and manage my scratch-ticket portfolio. Don’t judge me by my Charles Manson tattoo. Friends say I have a winning personality. Turn-ons: Schlitz Malt Liquor. Turn-offs: Sleeves.

Chain-smoking single mom with major heart problems seeks nicotine-loving 35yo male who looks at least 20 years older. Join me for very short walks on the beach as we find love while flicking cigarette butts into the sand. Turn-ons: Raspy voices. Turn-offs: Nagging doctors.

Happy New Year’s Resolutions

Wish you had a swell New Year’s resolution but can’t figure out what it should be? You are not alone. In fact, fictional surveys show 73 percent of Americans are pledging to quit doing something, start doing something or some unrealistic combination of both.  READ MORE

Thanksgiving: As the blood gushed from my thumb …

As the blood gushed from my thumb on Thanksgiving morning, I realized that I truly had much to be thankful for. … The moral of this story: Blood is thicker than red zinfandel or cranberry sauce.  READ MORE

Happy Earth Day to You

Happy birthday to Planet Earth. Yes, according to the earthling calendar, today is Earth Day – so allow me to dish up a heaping tectonic plate of metaphorical Earth Day cake.  READ MORE

Holiday Humor

Santa humor

Timeless Christmas Goodies

Holiday Safety Tips, your Yuletide Horoscope, a Redneck Christmas Album (“O Little Town of Bethlehem, Kentucky”) and Myrrh (the silent killer).  READ MORE

History’s heartthrobs talk Valentine’s Day

Hey all you Romeos and Juliets, Feb. 14 is a national day to feel the love. Because love is like oxygen. It can strike under the boardwalk, on Blueberry Hill or in an elevator; and it makes the world go round. It has even been suggested that love is all you need.  READ MORE

Super Bowl Fever !!!

Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to your exclusive satirical pre-game coverage of the Bud Miller Ford Chevy Nissan Amazon Coke Pepsi Cheetos Doritos Carvana Viagra Triple Crypto TurboTax Super Bowl !!!  READ MORE

WTF is on my YouTube Channel ??

A quick visit to my YouTube channel reveals several of my favorite alter egos, Triple Action News anchorman Reid Page and Mr. Billy Buck Teefus, THE American Redneck Savant (meet them in the two clips featured here). You’ll also find dope cuts from my imaginary hiphop artists, plus a mind-bending array of oddfellows and off-the-wall creations.

Subscribe today! or whenever, or not 🙂

In this 2010 flashback: Homespun pundit and American redneck savant Billy Buck Teefus is puzzled by what he hears about President Obama on Fox News. (Here’s a partial playlist of Teefus videos)

Reid Page is my fake news anchorman – a broadcast pioneer in the art of using overly exaggerated inflection and pauses to emphasize key words … and syllables.

I wrote and recorded “Scrub Your Hands n Cross Your Fingers” two months into the COVID-19 plague, before we knew WTF-19 we were dealing with. 

Inspired by one of my actual marketing copywriter blog posts, this video leverages that age-old advertising tactic, HUMOR(!), to promote my debut novel, “A Man of Remarkable Restraint.”

My niece’s graduation from Emerson would have been May 10, 2020 … but along came COVID-19. So I awarded her an honorary triple Ph.D. from Triple Action University.

This was soooo much fun! … doing a 26-minute live set as a featured artist at the monthly Beat Night held at Book & Bar in Portsmouth, NH. Organizer Mike Nelson encouraged me to promote “A Man of Remarkable Restraint,” my first novel.

Teefus was born at a family birthday party in 2008 where someone brought a gag redneck denture set. I bit into it and introduced myself to my family as “Mr. Billy Buck Teefus, American redneck savant.” I was almost as surprised as they were.

This fake pharmaceutical ad introduces Skelorex, a game-changing weight-loss spill that burns away flesh, muscle and internal organs. It is a signature product at my imaginary Big Pharma company, Triple Action Pharmaceutical.

Triple Action Studios

At this imagination factory, it all starts with the writing 

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