What would be cooler than anchoring your spectacular new $5 billion East Coast headquarters at a seaside, century-old prison castle inspired by Alcatraz and featured in an infamous, Oscar-nominated Jack Nicholson film?

This breathtaking oceanfront site is currently ranked by Triple Action News as one of the top 3 top-secret real estate opportunities in the world.

It’s owned by the U.S. Navy, but I’m certain that (for a modest commission) I can get them to sell it to you at an extremely attractive price — so I wanted to put it on your radar screen, your sonar too.

In my capacity as your lavishly compensated interim marketing consultant, please allow me to introduce the first unofficial slogan for this naval prison turned epic economic engine by the ocean.

ADVANTAGES

• Strong university system nearby (UNH)
• Skilled labor pool (plus something way better than a pool — the ocean!)
• Quality of life (yep, the ocean!)
• Plenty of good coffee shops
• “Restaurant mecca” of top-notch creative culinary establishments.
• We brew lots of craft brew (and we’ll brew a lot more if you come).
• An amazing children’s store
• An incredible arts community (The Music Hall, Seacoast Repertory Theatre, 3S Artspace, Prescott Park, The NH Film Festival and much, much more!)
• Transportation infrastructure (cool-looking bridges; Memorial Bridge puts on a show every time a big boat must pass — sirens, bells and whistles)
• Portsmouth International Airport at Pease (big airports can suck – small ones are less of a pain)