Trump and Bannon rolling down a California freeway in a white Ford Bronco pursued by a convoy of police cars.

Poisoned by a Russian spy who slips radioactive plutonium into the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake you have ever seen.

The screaming vortex of lies, ignorance and contempt that constantly swirls around his brain spontaneously combusts causing a debilitating cranial implosion.

Arnold Schwarzenegger travels back in time to handle the situation before Nov. 8, 2016.

Slain by a disgruntled former Trump University Ph.D. candidate.

Trump declares Chapter 11 moral bankruptcy.

Looking in a mirror asking himself, “Are you talking to me?”

A baby gets ahold of a hammer.

Mike Flynn spills the beans.

Trump fakes his own kidnapping to distract the public from Senate hearings into the ongoing Crackpot Dome scandal.

He steps down when his approval rating drops to 1% following dramatic revelations about the Putin Whistle Crisis.

Succumbs to toxic chemical inhalation when his hair is singed during a midnight five-alarm firing of four Supreme Court justices.

Silver spoon he unknowingly swallowed at birth ruptures both of his fallopian tubes.

His historic “And Another Thing About Obama” speech.

Shot in the face on a hunting trip with Hulk Hogan, Kid Rock and Dick Cheney.

Severe health complications caused by a rare combination of electile dysfunction, cognitive gangrene and unmitigated gallstones.

Suffers a sun stroke while glaring into a total eclipse of the sun.

On the beach at Mar-a-Lago with a metal detector, wearing headphones and listening to a supercut of his beloved Madison Square Garden Rally.

Siberia.