John Breneman loved working at his hometown newspaper, writing a Page Two column for the Sunday edition. But then a big media conglomerate bought the paper and – boom! – he was downsized.

Now, gripped in an epic struggle for economic survival, he has penned an eBook packed with hilarious advice columns on love, hate, sex, guns, booze, politics, racism, hibernation, exorcists, Obamacare, Jalapeno Coke, gingerbread men, the Nor’Easter Bunny and more.

Noted literary critic Rachmaninoff Aspercreme III has hailed it as “the finest collection of English-language advice columns ever written by someone whose surname contains the word ‘enema’.”